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Monday, October 17, 2011

That time I almost sassed the TSA Agent


We are on our way back to San Diego from Redding and we are running a little behind because of traffic and the need to get gas and probably because I said we didn’t need to leave until 9 when we should have left at 8:45.  So, we get to the airport, drop off the rental car and get to the correct terminal that I swore was wrong because it wasn’t the terminal we landed in.  Then we get to stand in a ridiculously long line at Southwest because some college water polo team was flying and instead of paying attention they were chatting it up like we have all the time in the world.  FYI, most people only get to the airport with just enough time to get through the dreaded security line and run to the gate for boarding.  Needless to say, I am not in the best of moods especially since this is all falling after a week of not sleeping well.

Also, this new idea to have flying passengers do their check-in with a computer is obnoxious because we all work on computers every day, but put them at the airport check in counter and it becomes mass hysteria.  So, we found the super-secret curbside check in and head to the land of TSA. 

We finally get to the front of the line (I swear TSA learned to make lines from Disneyland), and we have to wait because this gentleman forgot his boarding pass.  Your boarding pass is airport gold, so I really don’t know how you can forget it, but he did so he is trying to find it on his phone.  So they open up another line after ten minutes, and we get the Chatty Charles of TSA agents.  So, he strikes up a convo with Jerry about his goatee because it wasn’t in his driver’s license picture and then he turns to me and says “So you actually let him keep one?”  So in my head I am thinking “Alright funny guy check the ID and let’s move on”, but I say “Yes sir, I actually like it.”

Now let’s pause before we get to my conversation with him to describe what I look like.  In an effort to win Mrs. America I looked my absolute best with my glasses on, hair pulled back in a bun and no make-up.  

So, it’s my turn and I am being nice, but funny guy says “Is your hair actually long?” and I say “Yes, do you want to see it?” while I start to pull it out of my bun.  All the while thinking “Great I am going to get put on the no fly list because I couldn’t get my act together to do my hair.”  Finally he initials the ticket, and as I am walking forward he says this to the lady behind me “She is the type that thinks the driver’s license picture is a glamour shot.”

WHAT!?! Excuse me if I don’t want it to look like I haven’t washed my hair in 7 days with crossed eyes and snot hanging out of my nose when I take my driver’s license picture, but it just happened I took a great photo that day. 

I am facing Jerry and he sees this stunned look go across my face, and I get the “what’s wrong face” to which I shake my head.  I am about to turn around and Jerry sees the “Oh No He DIDN’T” face, and Jerry has the gall to grab my arm and say let it go.  Let it go?  I don’t think so!  Funny guy can’t just be making assumptions about people.  Hello! Ever heard don’t judge a book by their cover?

So, Jerry determined it wasn’t worth me actually getting thrown on the no fly list because he had more important things down here at home.  We don’t even know I would have ended up on the no fly zone, so missed opportunity, but know this I’ll let him know my mind next time I see him.  

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