I only told you yesterday's story so I could tell you today's.
After scrubbing the poop crust so hard, I had the most beautifully clean floors one could imagine in my house. Be proud people, be proud!
Anyhoo...The next morning I am running my usual five minutes behind, don't suggest that whole set the clock five minutes ahead thing it doesn't work, scurrying about my morning routine. But this morning I was running an extra five minutes behind, so I slipped on my four inch sling backs and ran down the stairs like a champ. On my way to grab my lunch and head out the door I almost fall flat on my extra round behind, but caught myself on the refrigerator. Jerry asked if I was okay, as written into his "Husband Contract" of required responses when injuring oneself.
This wasn't a particularly odd occurrence since I have always had trouble mastering the art of walking without attempting to kill myself. So to slip on a surface that I normally can walk on happens pretty much every day, and when high heels are involved I am doomed.
I am finally headed out the house only an additional minute late, and I fall flat on my face. Did you know you Lysol doesn't quite get rid of the poop smell? (Probably the reason he keeps pooping there) Well I found that out! My lunch went everywhere, fruit flew under the TV, and surprisingly there were only a few drops of smoothie on the floor.
"What is wrong with you?"
"I slipped geeze!"
"I really think we should consider this was more than a slip."
"What are you saying?"
"I think you have officially lost control of your limbs, you might want to get that checked out."
"Are you saying I am going lame?"
"It's that or your pants are too long because two falls in one morning is a lot even for you."
"My pants are fine....OMG it's the floor cleaner I used. Looked at that glossy shine on the floor, I almost killed myself with my cleaning abilities."
"Yeah I highly doubt that, but you have amazing balance because you only dropped two drops of your smoothie on the floor."
I am going lame, but I have great balance? Oxymoron anyone?