Resolutions - Week 4

Last week I was .5 points away from a mental breakdown, and the weekend was no where near enough time to actually recover.  Since I barely held it together last week, is it really any wonder that I completely failed at all of my resolutions?  Nope not a surprise to any one at all!

Being completely honest, I haven't actually recovered at all from this past month.  I still feel run down and out of energy and frankly I want to hide from the world.

If I am being even more completely honest, I am angry.  I am frustrated at this point in my life, it's not where I want to be or even really where I want to be headed.  I want the path God promised me to be happening now and it isn't and I am tired of waiting.  I want to be at that next step and I don't want to learn whatever lesson God is trying to teach me.

But most of all I am tired of pretending to be satisfied with the way things are.  I am not.  I am not joyful, and all I really want to do is crawl in bed and not come out until these feelings go away.

I realize the way I am feeling is not what we are taught as the mature Christian way to feel, and I realize it's hard to be friends with someone when they feel like this.  But, is it better that I pretend nothing is wrong?  Because I feel that isn't right, I feel it's better to be honest and open and let the pieces fall where they may.  As usual there are good days and bad, and for the most part you probably wouldn't know the difference because I don't want you to.  But maybe you are feeling the same way and you don't know how to express it, at least you know there is someone else that has been there.

Anywho, as this journey continues there are going to be days like today when it's hard to face the day and it would be easier to call in sick to life and stay in bed.  Today that wasn't the right decision and what do you know I made it through one more day.

P.S. My friend Char now has a blog so check it out!  

So glad this week is over

This past week has been one of those weeks where you feel like you have been dragged through the mud over rocks and thrown in a swirling ocean.  I have made it through and for the most part feel stronger, but there are some fights and some events that even though they are the right thing are tough to get through. 

I will say though that this week reaffirmed that I married the right man, and that God knew what he was doing (of course, duh!) when he allowed us to find one another.  I know that no matter how much we fight or drive each other crazy, that at the end of a ridiculously hard day he’ll be there for me and say “Was it a one glass or two glass of wine kind of day? Actually, it doesn’t matter here is a glass and I have dinner under control.”

This awesome husband of mine turns 29 (eek!) on Sunday so I am sure I will find more crafty projects to torture him with, after of course we have a nice dinner. J  I hope you enjoy your weekend as much as I will!  

Week 3 like Week 1, but slightly better

1.      Work out five separate times a week - failed miserably.  I think I got two work outs in. Maybe, yes I did because I played soccer twice.  And one bonus work out on Saturday.  This week isn't off to a better start either.

3.       Do laundry once a week - Passed barely, I needed towels washed so that got done

4.       Do the dishes twice a week - I rocked this one!  I did the dished 4 times.  I know we eat a lot for only two people, and it is our personal goal to use as many pans as possible when cooking dinner.

5.       Compliment Jerry everyday - I think this was a success, but Jerry would probably not agree.

Craft in progress

FYI if you upload pictures to Picasa they have to stay there or else they disappear from other google products, aka this blog.  So I found my flash drive and downloaded the needed pictures there. J  Now you can see my latest project.

See that wall right there, the plan one?  I have been trying to figure out something to put up there for the last 2.5 years with no luck.  Everything is either too big or too small.  Please ignore Jerry as he is bored out of his mind and can’t be bothered to pose in the picture.

While when we were wandering around Michaels the other day I came up with this idea to put scrap booking paper into frames and hang it on the wall.

I was thinking of going with one of these two options (probably option 1), but now I am thinking of putting them in various frames and making it a little more eclectic.  I am not sure how it will work or if that is what I really want to do, but since I could only afford two frames I have a while before I need to make a decision.  I might even go to thrift stores or to garage sales to see what type of frames I can find.  (This is why things never get finished in my house because I can’t ever make up my mind.)

Oh well I am sure I’ll have an update of some sort within the next 2 years.

I might be dying or going blind. Either way it'll be fiiiine!

Today’s blog was supposed to be about the idea I/we finally came up with for the disgustingly empty wall by the dogs cages, and how to make it pretty 60 years after we moved in.  BUT apparently on picasa you can only store so much and then you have to pay to upgrade storage.  Whelp, I am much too cheap to pay for someone else to store my photos when I have an external hard drive at home, so I have to empty that out and upload new pic etc.

I felt you still deserved something so instead you get this fascinating story about how I continue to fall apart mentally/physically.

This morning I woke up and couldn’t see clearly out of my left eye; you say oh no big deal that happens when you are blind and it’s dark.  That might be true but I had my glasses on and couldn’t see the bathroom.  It was like the entire room was a gray haze but my right eye it was fine and then when I turned on the bathroom lights everything was fine.  It was equivalent to my arm falling asleep and flopping back down when I tried to hold it, and when the blood returned it worked fine.

I have resisted looking at WebMD because we know how crazy that can get and Lord knows I can't afford passing out at work, but I probably have a brain tumor, lose cornea or it could just be stress.  My bet is on stress, but I am going to have to set-up that eye doctor appointment I have been pushing off and Lasik might never happen now if they decide I am going blind/dying.

P.S.  It’s AWESOME trying to take a shower while simultaneously having a panic attack. 

P.S.S.  Did you know that it is really easy to forget to wash your entire body in the shower?  Well, it is possible because I did it and by the time I figured it out I was practically dressed and didn’t have time to fix that problem.  Good thing I’m playing soccer tonight otherwise I might forget to shower later too.

New favorite hair style

What!?!  Two posts in one day?  Since I have been lagging, and should have had the earlier post up on Monday you get two for today!

Pintrest is great for crafty things, but I have really appreciated the hair styles and clothing ideas because I have a hard time thinking of new ideas in both areas.  So, in my effort to become more girly and actually care about my appearance I have been pinning hair styles that are different but something I can do.

I found this one and loved it because my hair isn’t long enough for a pretty bun, but I thought my hair could be styled this way easily.  Here are her directions on how she actually puts it up along with a video.  It was so easy to learn, and I love that it takes 10 min style, so in the mornings when I need to sleep in (hit snooze 6 times) I can do this and still look cute.

I can hold this style in with one bobby pin, but if I add a few more I can go a whole day and even play soccer without it coming undone.  This is so important especially since fancy hairdos don’t last long with me because I play with my hair too much.  To get this style to look good I need to put it up right after washing or the day after washing when it is flatter otherwise my hair is too thick and wavy to style correctly.

If you are looking for a new style for your hair give it a try!  Have you been styling your hair differently?  Do you have any quick styles to share?

P.S. This isn't Jerry's fav style, but he appreciates that I want to change it up and understands my need for lazy but beautiful hair days.

Week 2...a success!

I am so behind this week in the blogosphere.  You would think I would have been quick to run and blog Sunday night announcing to the world that I actually completed my resolutions last week.

I know crazy, right?!?  I actually went to the gym, did laundry and the dishes.  Plus I am still alive to talk about it, so we all know it didn’t kill me. 

True story, the gym might have almost killed me, especially because I did weight training and then endurance training one day right after the other after not working out in weeks.  When I got home from the gym after my endurance training I literally couldn’t walk up the stairs, and all my loving husband could offer in support was “Don’t worry I’ll just keep a hand on your butt so you don’t fall backwards.”  Just the encouragement I needed to run up those stairs, and the ability to compliment him when all I wanted to do was smack him.

In other news, I have been getting my craft on and torturing Jerry with various ideas (pictures of his excitement to come!).  One of the things I’d like to start doing is taking ideas from Pintrest and, you know, actually complete them.  Then I’ll blog about how easy or hard it was for me the anti-crafty person to do.  I have a couple of “projects” (were starting simple here people) in the works, including finishing my sign from days gone.  Hopefully this will encourage you to step out of your comfort zone a bit and try something new! 

What our potential future children will look like in the bath. Sort of.

Our shower / tub has increasingly become less and less user friendly.  I do realize there is no true technology in it, but it has still been difficult to use.

The new problem is that the bath diverter has been stuck in the shower position, and yes this is great but I am a bath person so the only way to take a bath is by filling the tub up with the shower.  This takes 5 days to fill, and frankly I don't have that kind of time.

Jerry kindly offered to fix the bath spigot this past weekend, but as usual nothing ever goes according to plan for us.  So it was leaking and pushing water back into the wall.  This is a big problem, so we have been with out a usable shower since Monday.  A bath is possible as long as you don't mind the water hitting the shower wall and running down into the tub.

Well, on Tuesday I was giving Jerry a hard time because he hadn't clean himself for a week and I felt we were way past proving any possible points.  So, I coerced him into taking a bath.  Of course this was for my pure enjoyment and it didn't disappoint.  To bad I couldn't hide my smirks and sniggling.

Well I felt that this was too good not to share, so I made him act this out for everyone.  You. Are. Welcome!

This is how well he fits in said tub!

While I was getting ready in the morning he shouted "I need a cup!" So this is the cup he used to bathe himself.

Shampooing his hair!

"I'm done give me that camera back!"

"I can't hear you.  No, really what did you say?"

"Look I'm a bird."

Another reason driving in CA is awful

I was on the way to the gym from work yesterday, and I was in quite a hurry because I needed to get a work out in, shower (because ours is out of commission) and get home in time to leave for the high school group.  Everyone knows that when you travel on 56 going east in the evening you will have about 3 miles of traffic.  I count on ONLY three miles of traffic, but yesterday it was slower than usual with a max speed of about 45.

In CA 45 is pretty good going home, so there isn’t too much to complain about, but I was wondering what was holding us up and assumed a Prius driver forgot where the gas was located again.  I saw a school bus, and figured people were just going around it no big deal and traffic would pick up.  Of course, the opposite happened and we started to slow down and it all became clear why…

There was a car (BMW) in the FAST lane going 45 with their flashers on!!!  Seriously we are on a two lane highway and you are in the fast lane with your flashers on?   (Pause – I grew up with a father that learned to drive on the east coast and he has two golden rules when operating a car 1. Make the car ride as smooth as possible for your passengers and 2. Always drive in the slow lane until you need to pass, if there is more than one lane remember to pass on the left and leave the farthest left lane open to fast drivers.) 

I attempted to be nice and pretend this person just started having car troubles and would move over / exit shortly, but after a 1.5 miles and an exit passing it became clear we were going to have to drive around this person ourselves because they were too lazy to move over.  One could say this is a hard stand to take, but his flashers were clearly working which means flipping the right turn signal on and move to the shoulder wouldn’t be so difficult.  Then this person could call Triple A and get themselves a little help.

You’re right they might not be able to afford Triple A; in that case they should probably downgrade their car so they aren’t paying premium gas and high maintenance costs.  Seriously, people are so inconsiderate when driving and it wouldn’t have been that difficult to just pull to the slow lane.

P.S.  Every time I write flashers I picture two women flashing the cars around them.  I know inappropriate, and it makes me a heathen but come on it’s not like you didn’t think of it too!

Thing 2 was right...for last week anyways

Good thing I didn't actually bet Thing 2, but that'll teach him for next time.

I failed on all of my resolutions last week accept for the laundry one, and that was only because if I didn't do laundry I would have been walking around commando at a high school leader retreat for church.  I figured Jerry wouldn't be too pleased about that so I made sure I had clean clothes.

Anyhoo, I am back on track this week and I am going to knock it out of the park.  Otherwise, I might actually owe Thing 2 something and I don't want that.

Resolutions

In case you haven’t noticed I haven’t blogged for a while, and I thought I would explain why finally.  I got the entire week of work off between Christmas and New Year’s!!  Yup, so I decided I was officially taking a break from life as well.

I know it seems weird taking a break from life, without actually dying but I managed.  That’s right I lived in fat pants, bra less and as Fredina four eyes on the couch for practically five days straight.  It was gloriiiious!! 

When I wasn’t sitting on the couch reading or watching Pan Am (on my our new iPad!!!) I was being a stylist to the stars.  Granted Thing 1 and Thing 2 aren’t stars yet, but I haven’t given up on the comedian thing and Lord knows that when Thing 1 is a physical trainer to a pro sports team he WILL advertise my style expertise to the players as he is fixing them up.

And with that 2011 is over and 2012 is going strong, and I can’t say I am sad to see 2011 go.  I decided that I was actually going to break one of my cardinal rules and set up resolutions.  No before you go crying for joy I am a cheater, especially at spoons, and several of these resolutions are already planned and are currently being paid for, but I needed to feel somewhat successful at the end of the year so I am including those as well.  I am also setting up specific guidelines for each resolution because as a self-admitted cheater we need to make sure I have a hard time actually cheating.

Okay here are the resolutions, and to clarify a week runs Monday – Sunday.  I will try to do a weekly recap every Monday of the previous week:

1.       Go to Europe….HA!  This will be easy already planned and started paying for.  If I have to swim across the Atlantic Ocean I will make it there this year.

2.       Work out five separate times a week.  Preferably two times full body weight lifting and three times cardio.  Playing soccer and lifting weights on the same day don’t count; instead one counts as bonus work outs.  Wii fit and other games designed for workout do count.  Also this should be a minimum of 20 minutes. 

3.       Do laundry once a week…When you have as many clothes as I do, once a week isn’t enough but maybe this way our bedroom won’t only be piles of laundry as it is now

4.       Do the dishes twice a week and this includes actually putting them away… This is my designated chore, and it almost never gets done so I want to change that.

5.       Compliment Jerry everyday… I don’t think that man ever hears enough how great people think he is, and I want him to know that I appreciate him.

6.       See my bestie, The Boo get married this year!  Yup another cheater one, but I am so excited for them, and so happy they are going to join us in happy married land.